Inspiration, Memoir, Poetry, relationships, Writing

Just Fine

I have nothing to wear,
but I tucked a chartreuse
three-quarter sleeve top
into a black maxi skirt and
it doesn’t look half bad
afterall

I have little money but it’s
payday nonetheless

People talk to much, trivially
but I go on and on and on
about my emotions

I don’t always feel wholly loved
and desired by my boyfriend but
he holds me all through the night
as soon as I crawl in
and in the morning whispers I Love
You and squeezes me even tighter
says he wishes we could stay
like this all day

Sometimes I think:
everything is disgusting and broken
I actually think that thought,
everything is disgusting and broken
but other times I feel that it is
shining and perfect
that everything is
shining and perfect

the truth is: everything is impermanent
whether shining or broken
everything is impermanent

the truth is: everything needs to be
maintained
home,
relationships,
friendships,
looks,
job satisfaction,
sexual satisfaction,
sense of wonder,
appetite, health of
the body and mind
All things are maintained
as we bend this way and
that way to restore harmony
Everything needs attention,
eventually
This is both
frustrating
and liberating

Little things bother me:
my dirty, grubby fingerprints
on a clean, white page
my poor penmanship
and scribbles
the dirt under my
fingernails as I write
the coffee film inside the
pores of my hairy tongue
people asking things of me,
subtly and without warrant
somebody expecting me to
arrive somewhere at a certain
specific time
really control of any kind
waiting for my boyfriend
to come home
being tired and ready
to leave the party
PTSD!!!
finicky computer programs
when I’m editing or formatting,
else my finicky mind
over-sharing (me and everyone else)
babies on the toilet on Facebook
a sad poem
cancer

This I love:
Candlelight dinners
a long red taper candle
with a skyscraper flame
burning while I write
a sunbeam
black coffee and
rolled tobacco
sage
Neil Young,
Jerry Joseph and
world music
indian gypsies
italian sausages
asian arts

roommates who talk
too much but always
cheer you up in the
end

boys and beer

love and hate

hate

happy

just fine

1 thought on “Just Fine”

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