Surrender

How many times
before I learn the lesson?
When I fall, I lessen
Before it was fun and games
cherries, pigtails, self-forgiveness
Now its consequences,
perpetual rain clouds,
ditches.
Shame myself
Smack myself
cry alone
up-in-arms
place blame
point fingers
fuck myself
fuck you too
no, that’s no good,
that won’t do
turn the page
don’t lick the
poisoned apple
turn and run
let my feet
kick up dirt
Live for
responsibility
dignity
prayer
…yeah I may have
dropped the ball
but I’m still here
Forgive me father
for I have sinned
don’t pat me on the
back this time,
you’re not my friend
Mother
Father
I sever the chord
release me
forever
from the mold/
from things so old
stale
gray
black
red black
love me back
light
white
air
I surrender lord
I’m here

9 thoughts on “Surrender

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